Wash day misdemeanors

We recently ran a ‘funny washday stories’ prize draw at GoodnessDirect whilst promoting the amazing soapods.

The stories kept me chuckling as they poured in over my desk. Making me laugh at your expense indeed! There are more men wearing pink pants out there than any of us may realise, but now the secret is out. Here are a selection of the stories sent in.

One of the many pink pants stories from Jasvinder (usually pink, never blue!).
I am terrible at washing. The other day I decided to give my husband a surprise and did all the washing (giving him a break from his routine). What do we end up with? A whole load of pink stained clothes. I made the mistake of thinking my cotton magenta skirt would not give out colour! So now he wears his pink stained boxers and shirt to work (thank God for the overall he has at work to coverup)! And it was one of his best shirts. He is even careful when taking anything out of his trouser pockets as he doesn’t want to shock anyone with pink pockets!

From Catherine Stell
About 10 years ago I was stood in the garden hanging my washing out when my brother turned up to give me a lift to B&Q. I quickly locked my house and jumped into his car. He helped me chose what I needed at the store and it was not until I got to the till and and reached for my purse that I realised I still had my peg bag over my shoulder and not my handbag! He still calls me Peggy to this day!

From Pam Wisner:
My husband was traveling a lot to and from America a few years ago. It was during a passport office crisis when passports were taking months to process. He arrived home for two days, dumped his washing, and went back to work. The last thing he said, was ‘ make sure you take my passport out of my shirt pocket before you wash it ‘. The next time I recalled his words were when I pulled the washing out of the washing machine, and his passport slid out of the top pocket of his shirt! It looked like it was made of very cheap toilet roll! Fortunately the passport office were able to process his new passport in time for him to go back out to the US.

From Kate in Bristol
My husband’s rugby team (some years ago), Old Emanuals, played in pure white (don’t understand that concept for rugby, but hey, that was their traditional colour!) Until part way through the season in 1990, when somebody washed the kit with a red article & the team had to play for the rest of the year in pink!

From June of Spilsby:
My husband put his white decorating overalls in with the white wash. Should have been fine but he didn’t take the red rag out of his pocket that he had been using to wipe up spills. I didn’t mind my underwear being a pretty pink but he wasn’t impressed with pink overalls!

From Emma Brown:
I have a little story about ‘washing’ that you may like, it’s a story my mum told me about an accident that happened when she was a little girl….

Her mum had spent the day washing and was quite tired by the afternoon, she only had one load of washing left to do and was ready for a break. She took some clothes outside to hang on the washing line; in those days my grandma (my mum’s mother) would put newspaper on the line first and then drape a jumper over the top so a “line” wouldn’t appear on their clothes.
She had draped newspaper over the line and placed my mum’s favourite jumper over the top. She wanted to cut the excess newspaper off and so went inside for some scissors. She came out and stood looking at the newspaper, it dangled down beneath the front of the jumper facing her, and so she proceeded to cut it on both sides. She began with the front of the jumper which lay in front of her. Cutting the front was easy as she could she the newspaper and jumper in front of her.

When it came to cutting the opposite side, she thought she would just carry on cutting from the same side of the washing line. All she could see was the newspaper on the inside and not the jumper lying over the top (does that make sense?).
Anyway, as she began to cut blindly, she felt it tough going! She thought the paper seemed very tough to cut through, you know where I’m going with this don’t you? Well, you’re right, she didn’t realise the jumper was as long as the paper on the opposite side and had cut right through the jumper!! She stopped, a little too late, and realised what she’d done. She apologised to my mum for ruining her favourite red jumper and said she “vowed never again to do the washing when she was tired”! Thankfully, she never did. Although, she did make a mistake with the ironing once, but that’s another story!

From Karen Macdonald
My poor mother was ill with cancer, and living with my young sister at the time. My mother’s older sister, Auntie M., gave my mother the ‘long loan’ of a most beautiful mohair dressing gown to keep her warm and wrap her in Auntie M’s love for the duration of the illness, since she herself couldn’t nurse her beloved sister. Well, my sister, who happens to be a professional tailoress and dress designer, was somewhat harassed, and also trying to bring up a young family, so when the mohair dressing gown needed a wash, she popped it into the washing machine woollen wash programme!! The dressing gown originally fitted my 5’7″ mother …….You can imagine my sister’s horror when the garment came out all beautifully felted and ready to fit a three year old child!! Perhaps Soapods would have saved the day!!

From Mrs Melbourne
Soapods, I am a great fan of these! If anyone asks us what washing powder do you use? My children love to say NUTS!!

A tip from R McCorrie
If you wash an item with a paper tissue in the pocket and get lots of little bits everywhere instead of spending all day picking bits off just put the whole wash (as long as the fabrics are suitable of course) into the tumble dryer which takes most of it into the fluff filter any that remains is dry and can usually be brushed off in half the time. (Can you tell I have had to do this more than once !!!).

Maria from Cumbria
I went on holiday once, my mother in law decided that she would do all the washing left in the basket for me for when we returned. About three weeks later I noticed my two year old niece wearing a felt cardigan that bore a startling resemblance to a lovely Laura Ashley one that I had put out to go to the dry cleaners before going away. Then the penny dropped, and even though it was over 20 years ago I still miss that lovely cardigan but I got some pleasure in seeing my niece wearing it, the really odd part was that my mother in law never mentioned it and neither did I even though she must have realised that I knew !

From Jenny Everett
I was washing my sons school shirts and decided the collars needed a bit more detergent, so I sprayed them, but when I looked at the can found I had sprayed them with Fly Spray!

Nell from Poole
When my daughter was about three my sister knitted her a Paddington Bear jumper from some balls of “wool”she’d found in a sale. My daughter adored the jumper and it was very easy to keep clean. I would just throw it into the washing machine and it would come out looking like new. After a couple of years I realised that although Emma had outgrown everything else the jumper still fitted her, though you could now see daylight between stitches. For another couple of years we all watched, fascinated, as the jumper grew with Emma, expanding slightly every time I washed it. We wondered if she would still be wearing it at eighteen. Alas, after about four years the jumper reached its limit – now looking more like crochet than knitting – and was passed on to one of Emma’s jumbo teddies. We still laugh about the incredible stretching jumper.

From John from Port Clarence
Whilst we were on holiday last year and the 17yr step daughter stayed at home, on arriving home we asked her if everything had beenwhilst whist we were away. Oh course, no problems at all.

However, on ringing my step son the next day, who lives around the corner , he proceeded to blab about her little incident after putting a load of washing into the machine. She picked up the laundry liquid , measured it out and put the machine on. 20 mins later on returning back to the kitchen she was met by a 5′ high wall of bubbles and suds coming out of the washing machine.

She rang him and he came round to se what the problem was. He managed to get rid of the bubble mountain and checked that the machine was okay , then discovered the problem. She had used washing up liquid instead of laundry liquid.

From Paula Newton
Your article brought to mind a little mishap I had while at cookery school. We were required to wear full chef’s whites in the kitchen each day. I had several jackets and aprons and one weekend, as usual, I sorted my whites and put them in to wash. I didn’t realise that I had previously thrown in one of those yellow dusters (a brand new one at that!). When I took the laundry out I only noticed that the duster was in there but nothing else. On Monday morning, we lined up in the kitchen to listen to the introduction and it was then, amongst my fellow students that I stood out wearing my chef’s ‘yellows’! Lots of sniggers and needless to say, I didn’t wear them at school again!

From Vicky Saunders
My poor doggy had an accident on his bed so I washed it. On the Saturday night hubby was going out for a do and I quickly shoved his good clothes in the wash after the dogs bed forgetting to clean the washing machine! He looked like a yeti!! All the dogs hairs were stuck to his nice black shirt!!!

From Laura Head:
We were due to go to one of my best friend’s weddings the following weekend, so I took my other half out to get a suit. He has expensive tastes and the one that took his fancy was a £300 Ted Baker suit, which he looked fantastic in, so he bought it. The wedding was wonderful, 30 degree heat, sunshine all day and the bride looked beautiful, we enjoyed fruit juices on the lawn, a three course sit down meal and an evening buffet.

We eventually went home tired and full of food. My other half threw his suit on top of the washing basket and we headed off to bed. I got up early in the morning, and thought I would start the washing early, so that I could get the work clothes ready for the morning.

I scooped up the suit trousers and trotted off to the washing machine.

Some hours later, a horrified boyfriend came wandering into the living room.

His trousers had dried. Not only had the legs shrunk three inches, but the waist had as well, so not only were they much too short, they were too tight as well.

He was so cross and it took me many hours of apologising and groveling to achieve forgiveness…

Sometime last year I bought a brown crochet wool top that I fell in love with. I wore it out with my friends children. It went with all of my clothes, and then one of the children spilt food on it. Foolishly I left it in the washing basket, thinking I would get round to hand washing it later. Later never arrived. The jumper was washed, and is now the right size for the child who spilt the food on it. She is three. He had his revenge….

That is just a taster. I received many more. Thanks to you all for being such good sports.

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